The Waiting Game

Since we started the adoption classes back in September, we have been told about the infamous “waiting period”.  This waiting period was described as the time between completing your home study and being selected by a birth mom.  I have to admit that when our agency would talk about this period of time, I actually looked forward to it.  I looked forward to a time during this process when we would be done with all of our responsibilities and all that was left would be to wait for a birth mom to see us as a good fit for her child. 

Now if you remember, our situation is very unique.  We were in the final stages of our home study when we were selected by a family outside of our agency.  We never experienced that waiting period.  We went from one stressful process to another.

We have been communicating with our birth mom for 10 weeks now.  We have had 5 occasions to hang out, multiple phone conversions, and close to 100 text messages.  This has been a nerve-racking process.  I don’t think I can accurately describe how hard it is to develop a relationship with a person when the whole time you are so scared to be yourself because you are worried that person won’t like you or see you as unfit as a parent for their baby. 

Over these past 3 week weeks, we have been preparing for our daughters arrival.  We have painted her bedroom, set-up her furniture, and have loaded her dresser with some amazing clothes with the help of great friends J We have also been packed up, ready to travel for almost 2 weeks.  Unlike most adoptions that happen through our agency, our birth family is almost 3 hours away.  This has caused some obstacles in building a relationship with our birth mom.  If we want to visit with our birth mom, we need to prepare for a 6 hour round trip and find people to watch our animals.  If I want to talk to her, I have to talk to her at 7 a.m. because she works the midnight shift (10 p.m. – 7 a.m.) and would need to sleep during the day to prepare for another night of work. 

Let me tell you about our birth mom.  I am very impressed by her character and her ability to know what she wants.  There has been countless times throughout our relationship that the sound of her voice or the expression on her face has completely calmed my soul from the nervous energy that has been flowing through it.  When there is a break in our communication, I constantly have questions running through my mind about how this situation and this person can affect me and my loved ones: 

What if she changes her mind after the baby is born?  If she does change her mind, how long will I remember the baby’s face or the feeling of holding her in our arms?  Will Graham remember the heartache and disappointment if she chooses to parent?  How can we help him through it when we also we be broken?  How will we recover from the embarrassment of a failed adoption?  How long would it be before we were ready to start the process again?

Only time will tell.  The due date is quickly approaching. Until then, we just need to continue praying and walking in faith that God is leading us to where we should be.