Our Little Blessing

We are extremely honored to be able to introduce you to our daughter!

Julianna Marie Johnson

May 18, 2012

5:50 p.m.
6 ounces
19 inches

I can’t believe how fast time is going these days.  Julianna turned 3 months this past weekend but it feels like she just came home yesterday.  I thought it would be a good idea to celebrate this milestone by writing about her birth and her first days so that I can pass these details on to her one day.

We got a call from our birth mom on 5/17/12 while we were at our dentist appointment. She called to let us know that, due to her low fluid levels, she was going to be induced on 5/18/12 at 7 a.m. Within 3 hours of receiving that phone call, we had the car packed, our mouths were still numb, and we were on our way!

We arrived at my girlfriend Janelle’s house around 9 p.m.  Her and her family, once again, opened up their home for us.  I didn’t sleep at all that night. I was up and moving by 4:15, woke the boys up at 4:45, and we were at our birth parents house at 5:30 a.m.  When I walked in, our birth mom was working on packing her bag and our birth dad was pacing around the house looking for something to do with his nervous energy.  We climbed into the car and went to a local family restaurant to grab some breakfast.  This was the first chance we had gotten to just talk to the two of them without anyone else around. 

When we got to the hospital, we decided that I would stay and Danny would head back to Janelle’s house, which happened to be .8 miles away from the hospital, to burn off some energy with Graham and get a nap in.  As our birth mom was completing the admission paperwork, I was using that time to ask our birth dad questions.  Over these past 3 months, I had not learned much about him.  I wanted to ask him about his feelings about the day, his family, and tried at find out about any concerns he had about us and the pending adoption.

As we headed up to the delivery wing of the hospital, I asked our birth mom if any of her requests had changed (her requests for this day were to limit conversation, implement a no touching rule, and that she wanted me to be present for the birth).  I wanted to make sure that she understood that she still had choices about how the day was going to go and it was about making her as comfortable as possible.  It took about 2 hours for the nurses to complete all of the paperwork complete, IV’s set up, and monitoring devices hooked up.  The birth dad and I left for a couple minutes during the blood draw to grab some coffee.  I also wanted to allow our birth mom the opportunity to talk to the nurse about the adoption plan and her wishes for how things were going to go during and after the delivery.

Everyone was under the impression that this was going to be a quick delivery since our birth mom had delivered several children before this and that she had a history of delivering small babies.  She started the Pitocin drip at 8:15 a.m.  During the labor process, Danny and I got to meet with the hospital social worker to discuss hospital policies and addressed the questions and concerns we had.  She was an incredible resource for us on this very stressful day and made us very comfortable during this process.

Around 5:30 p.m., our birth mom stated that she was having a lot of pressure and was ready to push.  The nurse checked her and quickly paged the doctor to her room.  Within minutes, the labor room had transformed into the delivery room.  With me to her left and birth dad to her right, we each took a foot and leg into our hands and got her into a position to help her push.  The next 10 minutes were a blur.  I can still remember that rush of adrenaline I felt.  I was honored to be able to watch her be born, to cut her cord, to take pictures as they were cleaning her up, and to be able to hold her within minutes of her coming into this world.  I don’t know what I expected going into that day but my mind was completely blown by that incredible experience.  I know what it is like to go through labor but I completely underestimated the intensity of standing and watching another person go through such an amazing, intense process.

After holding her for a couple minutes, I asked our birth mom if she would like to hold her.  She said yes J As I handed off our beautiful baby, I asked her if it was okay if I traded places with Danny so he could come down to meet her.  As I entered the waiting area, I experienced a rush of emotion that caused tears to pour down my face.  The experience had hit me all at once that it caused me to be speechless.  Danny’s face showed panic, thinking that something was wrong, and all I could get out was “she’s here; go meet her.”  Danny left and Graham was ecstatic to hear that his sister was there and he wanted to meet her as soon as possible.  I told me we just needed to wait our turn and he was going to be able to hug her soon.  As we were waiting, the birth father joined us and continued to have a look of shock.  I asked him if he was okay and his response still melts my heart.  He said, “This is the right thing.  You guys are going to be able to be the parents we want to be for her.  She belongs with you because you will be able to take care of her.”  I thank him and reminded him that he will always have the choice to be involved if he wants.

Twenty minutes after she was born, I got to walk Graham back to meet his sister.  Danny and the nurse wheeled her out in her bassinet to move her to a vacant room to allow us time as a family.  This was at our birth mom’s request.  As soon as we got in the room, we pulled her out of the bassinet to allow Graham the chance to hold her.  I will always remember the huge smile on his face when he looked at her and said “she’s finally here!”

 

After feeding her, they moved us into the room where we were going to be allowed to visit with her during the next two days.  The nurse allowed Graham to help push his sister to her new room and he made sure to tell everyone in the hallway to “Watch out, my baby sister is coming through!”

 

After we got settled in the room, I left to go see how the birth mom and dad were doing.  I found out that they were going to allow her to be discharged, upon her request, 4 hours after she delivered.  I was in shock that they would allow her to leave after such a long and hard delivery.  She just wanted to go home and sleep in her bed.  I could understand that. 

That evening, we just held her and stared at her in amazement.  She was perfect.  She was our daughter and Graham’s sister.  The nurses came in to see if we had decided on a name.  I looked at Danny and told him I needed more time.  I felt like every time I looked at her, she looked different so the names didn’t match.  He agreed so she continued to be called Baby for that evening. 

 

OUR FIRST FAMILY PHOTO

 

Before the birth parents could leave, they needed to complete the necessary paperwork to allow the baby to remain under the care of the hospital for the next 48 hours and to also give us permission to visit with the baby.  Danny took us home at 9:30 p.m. and returned back to the hospital to drive the birth parents home at 10 p.m. 

I got Graham settled in for the evening and went downstairs to share the day events with our friends.  James could see that I was very overwhelmed so he drove into town to bring back some of the most delicious frozen yogurt I have ever experienced.  When Danny got home, he told us about the drive home and we all turned in for the evening.  We knew the next day was going to come fast.  Needless to say, we definitely slept well that night.   The next morning, we arrived at the hospital at 8 a.m. and stayed til 10:15 p.m., only leaving the hospital for food and to play at a local park.  We left that night with a ton of excitement because we knew she was going to be leaving the hospital with us tomorrow.

The next morning, we decided to wait to head up to the hospital until our case worker got into town.  She called us a couple minutes before noon and told us to come up to complete the paperwork.  This was the first time we officially picked her legal name, Julianna Marie Johnson, and completed the paperwork to file for a new birth certificate.  Our case worker reminded us about the legal risk we were taking by removing her from the hospital and with her being placed into our care.  We still felt that it was a risk we were willing to take.  We were already attached to Jules.  We knew if the birth parents changed their minds that we would already be completely heartbroken.  We just felt that these two days between the release and the upcoming surrenders were worth taking.  We stopped by Janelle’s house to introduce Janelle and her son, Michael, to Julianna, pick up our belongings, and plan our dinner date. 

 
The hospital case worker helped us find a hotel to stay at over the Illinois border.  That was our first experience in a king size bed with Graham and fell in love with all the extra space.  Danny and I took shifts to feed Jules during the night.  During the day, we tried to get out and about to wear Graham out.  We just needed to make it to Sunday evening so that the birth parents could termination their rights and we could drive home. 

This is the part of the story that I am very upset about.  Our case workers should have been in Rock Island at 5:50 p.m. on Sunday night to allow the birth parents to sign their paperwork.  Due to matters outside our control, the surrenders were not signed until 2:30 p.m. on Monday afternoon.  When we arrived, we exchanged hugs and we gave thanks.  Both of her birth parents took the opportunity to hold Julianna and talk to her.  After signing our paperwork, we have hugs and said our good-byes.  Before leaving, we set up a visit for the end of July.

That night, it took forever to drive home.  Traffic and anticipation made the trip feel never ending.  We came home to a beautifully decorated house welcoming our baby girl home.  I remember pulling into the driveway crying with the relief that our baby girl was finally home.